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It amazes me how much less stressed i feel now. It as if a huge amount of weight has been lifted of of my shoulders. I have brought on a stress of a different sort but I am not gonna worry about it just yet. Gonna take time to decide what i really want....which may or may not include me going back to school.



I am looking forward to this weekend with my family. Being able to just relax and not worry. Then I can go back and spend my last four days with the people I have come to call my friends :D

COMMENTS

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xRoguex
07:37 Apr 09 2009

Glad to hear your feeling better sweetie!

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littleimp
20:14 Apr 23 2009

School is cool but just dont mess with loans if you can help it trust me you dont need the debt ...

You think its bad now try four years from now and owing 25000 dallors ...

I say grants and work and help form family or even from your own bank before going to loans is better.

Ask the bank were you keep your money before you go to government loans they are so high right now you dont need that debt.

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Just to start off with if the spelling is horrible I will fix as soon as I get home- I am on my phone and don't always catch the errors or the auto corrections it thinks I need to do





I just put in my notice for a job I have loved for six years because I am miserable due to the actions of one boss who has made the lives of myself and my coworkers hell.



I have nothing new lined up- but I think for two weeks I am gonna take care of myself and do some things I have been wanting to do before returning to the reality of "oh shit how am I gonna pay my bills"



Visit family and friends I normally don't have the time to visit. Take a trip to see a new friend who has changed my mindset of how I see myself for the better.



As my fortune cookie said last night: you will continue to take chances and be glad you did



And what the hell all of my fortunes lately have been about taking chances or risks - try something new or changes are coming... Mmh

Why is it when you have a birthday you feel the same yet so different. You realize so many different things that change because you in your mind are now older.



Or maybe I just realized that things need to be how I want them to be not how others want them to be. I am tired of being told how I should do this or do that. I am tired of being told that I can't do something cause it isn't right for me.



So what if it is wrong...let me find that out for myself. Let me be me.



I have found someone who makes me laugh and smile...rant and rave. Which I am strangely loving. When I am in a bad mood he will usually correct it by just talking to him (Damn you for being so far away...or maybe its damn me for not just leaving when you told me to come).



I second guess everything now...what am i doing? Why? Does it even matter if I go does he really want me to go? When can I go? Cause at this point I would come running when you said get your butt over here.



I want a baby...I see someone with a baby and my heart yearns for one. I am insanely jealous of my sister who just had one last year. Don't get me wrong I have always wanted children...want several in fact cause I myself am from a large family...but know that financially I cannot have one yet but then when holding a friends baby just want to say screw it all and go out and find me one.



I want things to be different and I am the only one who can make the changes...guess I need to find the strength to make them